brains

if i would let you into my heart
would you thank the lord would you tear it apart
and if words could talk the monster down
would you leave it alive or go in for the strike
and if dark were over thrown by the light
would the night turn to day
would it all turn to gray
and if time could tell you whose in charge
would you follow their lead?
would you plot their defeat
if flesh could crawl back to the bone
from terrors
build tiny sacred biolimbs from the marrow
(then) the pilot may stand or talk
like a fellow
but he's nothing more then peices
over a hollow
it is the same exact team
it is a walking pathway
and once your headed down it
there aint no turning back
our words are cautionary
because words are fun to say
you've got alot to carry
but once your there you stay there

i'm hungry

me: my stomach is still grumbly
roger: eat ur hand


my back hurts
wah
i want my mom

work

work work all day every day.i think i'm the most tired i've ever been in my whole life. no not really. but i don't want to turn into some dork who complains and is cranky all the time who only talks about work drama. but i am extremely exhausted. i think my brain is on autopilot. i did so many dumb things today. #1. forgot to lock the front door at work when i left... great i'm talking about work

eighteen

days until i leave for the great state of colorado. my momma is in town and we just went shopping and she's talking about how she wants to change my old room into an office and blah blah blah. i dont want her to. it took me three days of nonstop painting to make my room a golden yellow, by myself. even though i didn't cut out by the windows and it looks like a sunflower threw up everywhere but i'm still proud of it and it's exactly how i would want my room here to be. it has most of my old furniture and all my paintings. i think she's threatening me to make me move back so that it's safe from her interior decorating capabilities. which are great might i add. if i wanted my room to look like a log cabin with moose themed bedding.
but it has been so good seeing her, i wish she was my neighbor and that she would pay for me to go to the dentist and buy me soymilk like she used to. she is my best friend.
anyway i have a hot date tonight.
work christmas party, aka, akwarrrrrrdddddddddd
and free food!

hey mo

i just booked my flight to come home for christmas. a whole week.
i am sick in bed with a runny nose and cold feet
updates! \/\/\/

talk

well lets see my life. ummmm. ok working constantly. social lifes a little busy. trying to figure out whos mad at me and why. trying to love others. trying to not be selfish. that ones really hard. most of the time i end up riding to bridgetts house and watching movies. trying to not seriously injure the upstairs neighbor who does not know how to play the electric guitar but "practices "every night, especially around 2 am. lord have mercy. trying to ride my bicycle more. p.s. i got a new bike. pictures very soon. loving the cooler nights here, the sing a longs, the good friends, the movie nights. loving lunch breaks and menthols, iced soy chais at fido, vegetarian deluxe at pizza perfect. loving our cats even though everyone else hates them. trying to be positive.
missing, my closest friends in colorado. bike rides on flat roads. my family. playing video games with my sister. not being broke. having a comfortable bed. pizza at poor richards (poor richards>pizza perfect). THE MOUNTAINS. no mosquitos. kashi and nano. hercules and dillinger. living by myself. taking a bath. the piano warehouse. america the beautiful park. the penny arcade. smiles and smiles and someone to go to the laundromat with. not feeling inadequate.

this is where i am

ok

since monicque wants them here are some of the party pictures. twila did a good job and took an unnecessary amount.
i miss you so so much misses aragon and i love your postcards. and they are all over my fridge.
annnnnnd i might be moving again soon, for a million little silly reasons.
not anytime soon. actually maybe. we'll see.

boots

i'm itchin to travel
happy birthday to courtney
party tonight, pictures will come

no more cancer

3 days down and the rest of my life to go. i don't have internet anymore so this is hard to keep up to date.
miss everyone.
especially certain people



uhhh and for laughs. thanks to the 4th of july for this

i'm so thankful that i am in a place where i have so many options even though i don't know what to do almost all the time
i can't even comprehend how blessed i am
i know things are changing and i think it's for the better
i don't want my life to be a habit of 2 good weeks and 2 bad ones, i'd like some consistency and motivation,
and some truth and stability
sometimes, its nice

cigarette

i miss hog
and mo
and loree i hope things get better.
no cornerstone

i haven't been leaving my bed lately

kittens
they poop exactly where you don't want them to
they cuddle in the right place in your arm
they try to eat people food allllllll the time like right now i'm eating coffee icecream and trying to keep georgia out of it
they love my bed the most but do weird things like chew on fuzzes from the blanket
and they love us cause they have to i mean we're the ones who feed them

To a future with some balance,
To a future without judgment,
To a future with my family

To a future without anger,
To a fate of more than damaged fits,
To a future worth remembering.

rope swing

went swimming today, moved into the new place. very tired. its 4 in the morning. i need to call monicque.

found

an apartment, we move in on wednesday.
saving a kitten promptly afterwards

Went swimming and jumped off some cliffs into a lake the other day. they were tall like 30 or 40 feet high. the boys jumped off a 50 ft one. i got lots of lake water up my nose, and swam next to some really big fish. today I talked a little bit. It felt good to say some things out loud, they make situations much more real when you hear yourself talking about them.

Kunstformen der Natur

diggin this guy

Kunstformen der Natur (Art Forms of Nature) is a book of lithographic and autotype prints by German biologist Ernst Haeckel. Originally published in sets of ten between 1899 and 1904 and as a complete volume in 1904, it consists of 100 prints of various organisms, many of which were first described by Haeckel himself. According to Haeckel scholar Olaf Breidbach (the editor of modern editions of Kunstformen), the work was "not just a book of illustrations but also the summation of his view of the world." The over-riding themes of the Kunstformen plates are symmetry and organization. The subjects were selected to embody organization, from the scale patterns of boxfishes to the spirals of ammonites to the perfect symmetries of jellies and microorganisms, while images composing each plate are arranged for maximum visual impact.

thomas

slept on a wonderful couch/bed last night, and snuggled with bekah's cat thomas. he is big but loves to cuddle and step on your face in the middle of the night. what a goober. i'm going back to nashville today, i might come back down on saturday if i don't have to work.

birmingham

i haven't had much sleep but i'm enjoying my visit here
leaving tomorrow.

howdy

well i'm in birmingham alabama, got here last night. stayed up real late last night, roger is cooking eggs and making toast for breakfast i can smell it and i'm so hungry! i think i'm going to hang out here for a few days, maybe i'll leave like tuesdayish. i don't know if i said this but i got the job at that clothing store, i start friday. yeehaw 

explain your brain

down home grlll

ok so i thinkkkkkk i got a job mayyyyybe. i have an interview on thursday. at this used clothing store. yesterday and today i sat outside with sophia. she is so small and is whiny sometimes but she fascinates me, her fingers and toes are so small and i don't even understand how she can move them without them breaking. she is also fat. constantly trying to find things that she can eat. 

i also met a little blonde girl who lives next door named Saga, she speaks swedish. 

i rode my bicycle around today and got to know the streets a little better, stopped and called mo, then went to a bible study at some house. afterwards we went up on the roof and sat and talked. there was a helicopter that flew over and shined his spotlight on us 

then had some potatoes and stuff and drank a beer and went home 

i think i might go to alabama next week. 

i'm gonna sleep in so good tomorrow 

gnight